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Stop arriving late at your family functions, do not isolate yourself too much and do not involve yourself a lot in the family politics

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Stop arriving late at your family functions, do not isolate yourself too much and do not involve yourself a lot in the family politics

If you cannot take down an animal with a knife at your family ceremony then at least my brother, you should know how to slaughter it and which parts of it can be eaten by men and which ones are reserved for women. You must know how to make ground fire and traditional beer – these are just the basics. Do not be like those men who embarrass us and tell us that they are scared of cows and goats because they “bite”.

You have an important role to play in your family my brother. Pay attention to what the elders of your family do during family ceremonials. What you learn from them is what you should teach your woman as well because there will come a time when your woman would have to play the role of a mother and grandmother to your nieces and nephews.

In the absence of your own father and uncle, you my brother assume the role and position of head of the family. You become the man, the leader! All these lessons should be passed down to your nephews and your woman will teach your nieces. You are the one who must teach them how things are done in your family. This position of leadership, my brother, forces you to be an omnist, to know that you are not going to refuse to carry out your traditional and cultural duties and responsibilities merely because you belong to a certain religious group or faith.

You must know your own clan names from both your paternal and maternal sides of your family and how to appease your people. You are not going to be a young man forever. You have important tasks and responsibilities ahead of you. Your nieces and nephews will want you to negotiate amalobolo on their behalf, you will be required to lead your family during burials, to communicate at the alter with the ancestors of your family, you must know the process of digging up the grave, how to position it and close it off. You cannot outsource these things.

Stop arriving late at your family functions, do not isolate yourself too much and, do not involve yourself a lot in the politics of the women in your family – be a man, a leader, though gentle but remain bold and remember that you are doing this for future generations in your family that look up to you my brother but most importantly too, you do not want to be a weak and uninformed son-in-law …

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